Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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360 NO SCOPE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops