How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops