Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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What's your guys names?

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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