Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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12/23/2012

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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