How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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your so fat. your fat!

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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