Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Barack Obama.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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