What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops