I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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