So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops