What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Mooses

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops