What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

Knock knock Come in

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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