Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

96

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops