How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

thumb_up thumb_down -10

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did john say to bob Hey bob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Canadians

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops