NEVER

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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These Jokes suck.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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eh

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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