Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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