Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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hi michael

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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Leave. Now.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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