What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats green and lives in the water

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops