whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops