Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

thumb_up thumb_down -12

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops