why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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