Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops