What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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