Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dumbledore dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A house comes around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

thumb_up thumb_down -4

It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops