human centipede

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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