Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops