What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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