What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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