What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

Go away still nothing to see

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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