red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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XD Jackass.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Beka has AIDS

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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