To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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ask me if im a door yes

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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