A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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pobody's nerfect

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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