How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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