FUS RO DAH!!!

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops