You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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