Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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