What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops