Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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