NEVER

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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