What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

cool

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops