2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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NEVER

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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