why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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who else is on here?

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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