What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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hi

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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