Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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