What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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