How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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