What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Horse.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops