I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Neither have I

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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