What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

Knock Knock Come in

What is older than history?

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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