What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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