what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

Manchester City

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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