Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

Knock knock, COME IN!

woman's rights

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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