Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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This isn't funny.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops