When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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