what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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