Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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Neither have I

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops