A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops