Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops