An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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